finally i am getting my time to sit down to relax awhile. got to do my project later on. might stay up for the whole night.
i don't know what happened to me. i just feel so bitch. -.- fucking emo right now.
now i am on my own, guess i will be back to the old me. i will be keeping things to myself again. a promise were made by me to him. i will follow the promise i had made, will never break my promise.
so much things happened recently. friends pass away one by one, conflict in school, misunderstanding between friends, and problem in relationship. i am so stressed up right now. i feel like crying, but i am controlling my tears from falling.
i am trying to be strong like what he told me. i am trying my best to do what i can do. he said i shouldn't push all the blame to myself. was thinking about what he told me. and i wanted to ask him back. if i didn't exist, i wouldn't bring so much sadness right?
i am seriously moodless right now. things wasn't going my way.
told ling about my problem. now, i seriously keep thinking about him. one last time, and i am going to end everything. i can't give him anymore sadness.
upon hearing what has happened, i pity him to encounter that. told him i will pray hard for him until he find his true love.
finally the thing that i am fearful of finally came. i knew this day would come, that is why i got to put a full stop to everything.
thank for the time that you have spend with me.
right now, i really cannot stop my tears. i am sorry, i think i just cannot be as strong as i can.
i miss him badly right now. i wish he were with me right now, to lend me his shoulder to cry on. but i guess it wont happened anymore, because i am letting go of everything. leaving him on his own, although i didn't want to, i have got no choice. wish you all the best, like what i did in the past to you. i am sorry.
should i let go all of them? like that i won't be giving any of them anymore sadness. i haven been breaking their heart recently. i am feeling so bad. i know i have to do that because i have got no choice.
but what if you were the one in my shoes? what will you do? you will be like me, in a dilemma. you wont be able to make a choice. i know because i am facing all this right now. wait till the day you encounter this, you will finally know how i feel.
don't ask me to make a wise choice, because i am already trying my best to do what i can. because of these, i am so stressed up. you will never know how i feel until one day when you are facing it.
i will be on my own right now. you are hoping that i can be strong, and i know. but sorry, i cant.
